At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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