Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I don't think brook has ever known best
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Randomize
