I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
