I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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