This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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