we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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