well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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