that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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