i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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