Already got asked if we're dating
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
