can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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