my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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