it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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