He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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