Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
