I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
