I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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