she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
