just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
