Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
