omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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