So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
