No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
