dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
