Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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