We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
