I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
