I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
