yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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