none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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