at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
