Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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