I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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