the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
