We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
