In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
