I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
