things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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