Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Say something about gay babies.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize