And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
