She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm getting married
To pizza
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
