No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm just crazy horny about you
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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