Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
