On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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