You just made me feel so damn special
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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