I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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