dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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