Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
