dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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