He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
ugly people sure do ruin things
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
